some disillusionment
I only have about a month and a half left on the farm, but it's going to be hard. Every day this week we weeded potato beds. My hands are acting up again. They're so stiff in the mornings that I have to braid my hair at night because I don't have the dexterity to make a ponytail in the mornings.
And we haven't even started harvesting tomatoes yet. I know the summer will be physically difficult, but I think the biggest challenge will be mental. Heinz can be a difficult man to work for. I'm really glad that I had worked at the farmers market before coming to the farm, because I sort of knew what to expect from him. If I hadn't been prepared for it, the constant criticism would have made me quit long ago. But up until now, X and I have been able to get through it with good attitudes and the ability to laugh together. But it wears me down.
I make plenty of mistakes on the farm, and I don't mind being corrected--I just don't understand why Heinz has to do it with words and tone that suggest I'm either a hopeless idiot or a lazy bum deliberately sabotaging the productivity of his farm. For the record, I haven't made any major, money-wasting mistakes. My mistakes are things like driving the tractor slightly too slowly while others load harvested garlic onto the wagon being towed by the tractor. For this I received an unnecessarily long harangue punctuated with "do you hear me?!" It just stings, and the tone used always seems out of proportion to the infraction.
This, among other things, has recently led me to the surprising realization that this farm is not sustainable. Ecologically, it may be sustainable--as far as I can tell, Heinz really knows his shit. He goes further than many organic farmers in that he doesn't use any pesticides (there are organic pesticides like Bt and diatomaceous earth). He believes that insects attack weak and unhealthy plants, so he focuses on growing healthy plants that are able to defend themselves. The vegetables that we grow here are beautiful and delicious. I have a lot of respect for what he does with his farm.
The farm is not sustainable as currently run because there are no consistent, long-term employees. There have been a few workers who have come back for multiple seasons, but for the most part, I think the farm relies on people who work a single season or even less. Heinz would like to have someone with considerable farm experience who could take over some of the management of the farm, but I have a hard time seeing how that's ever going to happen. So Heinz will continue being stressed and over-worked, getting older every year, with no one sticking around long enough to take over any significant aspects of the operation of the farm.
And we haven't even started harvesting tomatoes yet. I know the summer will be physically difficult, but I think the biggest challenge will be mental. Heinz can be a difficult man to work for. I'm really glad that I had worked at the farmers market before coming to the farm, because I sort of knew what to expect from him. If I hadn't been prepared for it, the constant criticism would have made me quit long ago. But up until now, X and I have been able to get through it with good attitudes and the ability to laugh together. But it wears me down.
I make plenty of mistakes on the farm, and I don't mind being corrected--I just don't understand why Heinz has to do it with words and tone that suggest I'm either a hopeless idiot or a lazy bum deliberately sabotaging the productivity of his farm. For the record, I haven't made any major, money-wasting mistakes. My mistakes are things like driving the tractor slightly too slowly while others load harvested garlic onto the wagon being towed by the tractor. For this I received an unnecessarily long harangue punctuated with "do you hear me?!" It just stings, and the tone used always seems out of proportion to the infraction.
This, among other things, has recently led me to the surprising realization that this farm is not sustainable. Ecologically, it may be sustainable--as far as I can tell, Heinz really knows his shit. He goes further than many organic farmers in that he doesn't use any pesticides (there are organic pesticides like Bt and diatomaceous earth). He believes that insects attack weak and unhealthy plants, so he focuses on growing healthy plants that are able to defend themselves. The vegetables that we grow here are beautiful and delicious. I have a lot of respect for what he does with his farm.
The farm is not sustainable as currently run because there are no consistent, long-term employees. There have been a few workers who have come back for multiple seasons, but for the most part, I think the farm relies on people who work a single season or even less. Heinz would like to have someone with considerable farm experience who could take over some of the management of the farm, but I have a hard time seeing how that's ever going to happen. So Heinz will continue being stressed and over-worked, getting older every year, with no one sticking around long enough to take over any significant aspects of the operation of the farm.
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