So for those non-Olin people who read this blog, Big Conversations is a school-wide event that we do every semester that tries to get us thinking about the question "What's important?". We bring in a speaker who talks about how personal values have played a role in his or her life. Then we disperse into smaller groups and have "small conversations" about related topics.
This year's event was especially good, in my opinion. The speaker was Michael Brown, co-founder and president of City Year. Since I'm a City Year alumnae, I got invited to have dinner with him the night before, along with this year's SERV members. He's a very nice guy, and he said that having dinner with us made him sad that he doesn't get as much contact with corps members as he used to. [Tangent: statements like that are what make me wary of EVER getting into management, even in an organization that I really believe in. I would rather remain on the botton tier forever than feel like I've lost touch with the reason I originally joined the organization. But I'm grateful that there are people like Michael Brown who are willing to take on that task.]
Things that I remember from his speech:
If you have more than one passion, they're like two boards floating away from each other, and you have one foot on each. Eventually you have to jump to one or the other.
I'm really struggling with this. Is it true that I have to choose something to focus on? At this point in my life, I don't know what it would be. That's why I'm doing a concentration in Systems at Olin--I can't decide between MechE and ECE classes. I want to keep doing it all. I guess the whole point of Systems is that it stitches together ME and ECE stuff, so hopefully that will work out. But I don't like the idea that in order to do one thing well, I have to give up other things that I enjoy. It might be true, but it makes me unhappy.
First you lose sleep, then you lose perspective, then you lose graciousness.
I dunno... I'm pretty good about requisitioning as much sleep as I need. But I do sometimes lose perspective, and haven't come up with a surefire way to fix that. Days like Big Conversations help encourage me to reflect, but I don't have that reflection time built into my regular schedule. I kind of like that in City Year we had to answer, among other questions, the following at the end of every week: How is your team? How is your service going? How is City Year going? Of course, it was a pain at the time, and I resented it and wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been required. Even knowing that regular reflection helps, I can't make myself do it... it's like I have to be told to. I worry about this. I need to work on self-discipline.
Two common motivations for doing service are anger and guilt. These are the wrong motivations.
This really resonated with me. I think I have acted and do act based on both anger or guilt. I would love to get past that someday. Maybe that's my own personal nirvana.
During "small conversations," Alex D. and I facilitated a discussion about long-term service opportunities. There seem to be quite a few Olin students who are seriously interested in doing long-term service, which is really, really exciting to me. We talked a little bit about different programs, but the discussion turned into more rambling musings and worries about expectations of parents and peers, and about how it can be hard to leave the beaten path. It made me grateful that my parents have been and are so supportive of activities that don't directly lead to Earning Lots of Money (aka "success" by some standards). I also recognize that even being able to consider joining City Year and Teach for America are privileges. My family is financially comfortable and I don't feel like I need to start earning money to support them. I am lucky enough to go to a school that is almost free, and lucky to have parents who pay for the balance, so I will graduate without any debts. It's a sad thing when people can't afford to volunteer.
This year's event was especially good, in my opinion. The speaker was Michael Brown, co-founder and president of City Year. Since I'm a City Year alumnae, I got invited to have dinner with him the night before, along with this year's SERV members. He's a very nice guy, and he said that having dinner with us made him sad that he doesn't get as much contact with corps members as he used to. [Tangent: statements like that are what make me wary of EVER getting into management, even in an organization that I really believe in. I would rather remain on the botton tier forever than feel like I've lost touch with the reason I originally joined the organization. But I'm grateful that there are people like Michael Brown who are willing to take on that task.]
Things that I remember from his speech:
If you have more than one passion, they're like two boards floating away from each other, and you have one foot on each. Eventually you have to jump to one or the other.
I'm really struggling with this. Is it true that I have to choose something to focus on? At this point in my life, I don't know what it would be. That's why I'm doing a concentration in Systems at Olin--I can't decide between MechE and ECE classes. I want to keep doing it all. I guess the whole point of Systems is that it stitches together ME and ECE stuff, so hopefully that will work out. But I don't like the idea that in order to do one thing well, I have to give up other things that I enjoy. It might be true, but it makes me unhappy.
First you lose sleep, then you lose perspective, then you lose graciousness.
I dunno... I'm pretty good about requisitioning as much sleep as I need. But I do sometimes lose perspective, and haven't come up with a surefire way to fix that. Days like Big Conversations help encourage me to reflect, but I don't have that reflection time built into my regular schedule. I kind of like that in City Year we had to answer, among other questions, the following at the end of every week: How is your team? How is your service going? How is City Year going? Of course, it was a pain at the time, and I resented it and wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been required. Even knowing that regular reflection helps, I can't make myself do it... it's like I have to be told to. I worry about this. I need to work on self-discipline.
Two common motivations for doing service are anger and guilt. These are the wrong motivations.
This really resonated with me. I think I have acted and do act based on both anger or guilt. I would love to get past that someday. Maybe that's my own personal nirvana.
During "small conversations," Alex D. and I facilitated a discussion about long-term service opportunities. There seem to be quite a few Olin students who are seriously interested in doing long-term service, which is really, really exciting to me. We talked a little bit about different programs, but the discussion turned into more rambling musings and worries about expectations of parents and peers, and about how it can be hard to leave the beaten path. It made me grateful that my parents have been and are so supportive of activities that don't directly lead to Earning Lots of Money (aka "success" by some standards). I also recognize that even being able to consider joining City Year and Teach for America are privileges. My family is financially comfortable and I don't feel like I need to start earning money to support them. I am lucky enough to go to a school that is almost free, and lucky to have parents who pay for the balance, so I will graduate without any debts. It's a sad thing when people can't afford to volunteer.
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